Tears of Hypocrite

(The Saga of Caveman Hom, Episode 10)

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Ali, Cul and Cal stay for guard Gel while heal Pevette. Rest of tribe return to big cave for eat — later, we bring plenty food for guard. Fooella still tied, he not walk well, so me help Gai carry. At first he drag feet but Gai shout and thrust spear. Fooella cry again, but now he make effort, support own weight. 

At cave we find hide of rabbit. It good for small shoe. It also good for keep man quiet. We tie Fooella tight to big rock. We shove hide in mouth, tie with twine. Now he not escape, he not talk. This good. Now tribe make food. Today we not hunt, so make soup with dry meat from deer. It need cook long time. In end it good, but fresh meat always better.

While soup cook, tribe talk. Fem ask Arca and Cheri what happen. She hear it already, but not all. Now she want tribe hear too. This time she want full story.  While listen, we not idle. Some make arrow or shoe. Some prepare hide. Me make spear. Mat sit by fire, draw mark on ground. Tix sit with him. She clever. She learn much already. She good daughter, make Hom proud! 

Arca begin story. She say, ‘We go cave of stick for smooching. At first it little bit, but soon it grow more. Me remove loincloth. Me horny! Then Cheri reach down with hand. She begin—’

‘Enough!’ interrupt Cheri. ‘They not need sex details!’

‘Me want details,’ say Fab. ‘Details important.’

Everybody laugh. Then Fem say, ’You want sex details? Use imagination!’

Fab grin. ‘Me only joking. Me like naughty humour.’ 

‘Humour good,’ say Fem. ‘But this not time for joke.’ She turn to Arca and Cherry. ‘Me sorry for interrupt. It rude. Please continue story.’

‘Me also sorry,’ say Fab. ‘Context important.’

Arca continue. She say she smooching in cave with Cheri. Suddenly she see man at entrance. She not recognise. But it Pevette, he watching! He wear coconut on chest. Arca shocked. She not know what do! Then Pevette grab Cheri — he put hand on boobies! He squeeze, he rub! Arca scream. Cheri turn, she scream too. She grab club of antler, she swing. It miss! Arca reach for bow. 

Then Arca see other man — it Fooella. He shout Pevette, grab arm and pull from cave. Arca come forward with bow. Cheri swing antler, but again it miss. Arca push past Cheri, get to entrance. She not want men get away! Now Cheri throw antler. This time it catch Pevette, tangle in leg. He fall. He land on cave. Sharp stick go through side. He scream! Cave collapse. 

But Arca emerge. She have bow and arrow! She try shoot Fooella, but angle bad — it miss, but close. Fooella stop running. He stand still, stare Pevette. Then he bend over for throw sick. Arca stand. She aim arrow Fooella. ‘Stay there!’ she say. ‘If move, me kill!’ 

Fooella not move. He put hand in air. Then he point Pevette. ‘It her fault,’ he say. ‘Me innocent!’ Then he begin cry. ‘Please not shoot,’ he say. ‘Me mean no harm! Pevette have big problem,’ say Fooella. ‘She obsessed with boobies! When Pevette see nice boobies, she lose control. She not think — she only want touch! Me try stop her, but she not listen. She crazy one, not me!’ 

Fooella say this through tears. Arca tell him stop talking. He obey. Then Arca look Pevette. He impaled on stick, still screaming. She hear footsteps running, make many crunch on fallen leaves. She know tribe coming. So she order Fooella sit on ground, hands on head. Arca aim arrow, she wait. Then tribe arrive.

Story finish. Arca sit. Tribe mutter — everybody angry! Women angry more.

’This big outrage!’ shout Ruti. ‘We leave old tribe. We go mountain, start new life. Much hardship, but we survive. We make new tribe, new rules. We learn hunt pig. We tribe of women! But we strong. Why men come here? We no threat. Why not men leave alone, live own life?’ Ruti spit on ground. ‘Men scum!’ Then she remember, some men here, we part of tribe too. She add, ‘Not all men. Me know some men good.’ She point Fooella. ‘But this man bad. What name? Foo? Fooella? It not matter! He scum, like other man, Pev. He deserve death!’

When Fooella hear this, he try speak. But with hide of rabbit in mouth, he only make noise with no meaning. He very scared. It obvious. It show on face. 

Now Ruti grab spear. ‘Me kill!’ she shout.

But Gai stop Ruti. He put hand on shoulder. ‘No,’ he say. ‘Not kill. Look,’ he point. ‘He so scared, he make piss in loincloth!’

Me look — it true! Fooella make puddle on ground. Loincloth wet. Piss drip down leg. He cry tears of shame. He bad man, but me not feel hate. He too pathetic. 

Ruti shake free. She glare Gai. ‘You man!’ she say. ‘You not understand.’

‘Me man,’ admit Gai. ‘It true. But me human, like woman. Foo also human. If human kill other human, it bad. This man no threat. He unarmed. If kill, it murder. Murder wrong, it against Nature Spirit. That bad luck for tribe.’

‘Pah!’ say Ruti. ‘This typical. Man always defend other man.’

‘That true,’ say Nizzi. ‘But Gai make good point. Murder bad.’ She smile. ‘So me have better idea.’ She point Foo. ‘This man, so he have willy. But he say he woman. If he woman, he not need willy. Why not we cut off willy, send back over mountain? This punishment, but better — it warning! Then men tribe fear women tribe. They not make trouble. They stay away.’

Ruti smile. ‘This good idea,’ she say. ‘Nizzi wise.’ She drop spear, pick up knife. ’Me cut!’

‘Ruti!’ shout Fem. ‘No!’

But Ruti ignore. She run forward with knife. Fooella make big noise. Me see eyes widen.

‘Stop!’ shout Fem. ‘Me give order! Me Chief!’

But it too late. Ruti reach Fooella, pull loincloth aside. She wield knife for cut willy! Now all tribe shouting. It chaos! But suddenly Ruti stop. She gasp, drop knife. Then she sink to ground. ‘What happen?’ she say. ‘Where willy?’ And Ruti begin cry.

Now all shouting stop. Tribe silent. Me stare at crotch of Fooella, but me not see willy. It gone! Now he have only stump. It ugly with scar. It look rotten.

‘Who do this?’ sob Ruti. ‘It evil!’

Gai shout her. ‘What matter? You want cut off willy, but too late! It gone already! You miss chance, so now you sad. Pah! You monster! You weep tears of hypocrite!’

Chief Fem speak quiet. ‘Gai,’ she say. ‘That enough. Now shut mouth.’

Gai give angry look, but he fall silent at face of Fem. She have deadly stare of mountain cat. He not dare argue.

‘Me sorry,’ say Ruti. ‘Me so sorry.’ She wipe eyes. ‘Me not monster. Me human, same like man!’ She lower voice. ‘Same like Foo.’ Then Ruti reach up to face of Fooella. She undo twine, take hide of rabbit from mouth.

Fooella cough. ‘Me not Foo,’ he say. ‘Me name Fooella. Me woman!’

Nizzi frown. ‘You silly,’ she reply. ‘You not have willy, but you still—’

But Chief Fem interrupt. ‘What happen willy? Who cut?’

‘That long story,’ say Fooella.

‘Me not care. It plenty time. Me want hear story.’

‘Me tell,’ say Foella. ‘But first me need drink. And me hungry.’

Fem smile. ‘Soup come soon.’ She raise voice. ‘Where water?’

‘Me fetch,’ say Min. Then she bring water in coconut. Fooella still tied, so she put coconut to lips. ‘Sip slow,’ she say. ‘Take time.’

Fooella drink. Tribe wait for finish. Then Fooella tell story of lost willy.

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